humor
"Humor is what binds humans together and makes difficult times just a little less painful; Sometimes you can't help but laugh. "
The October Goat
My son got a goat in early October... it was an accidental thing he did. We have friends who have horses, pigs, chickens and goats. He went to visit one afternoon and came home a little while later asking if he could bring home one of the goats. They needed to rehome this goat. Not because he was bad or anything, just because he was after the does who were already bred and he was getting antsy irritated. So I agreed (my son is an adult who lives with me, a volunteer firefighter and responsible adult by the way) and Goat came home. Before he came home, we spent several hours quickly converting a small lean to shed attached to my barn into a goat shed for my son's new pal. Thinking we had it secure enough and all set, Goat moved into his shed and my son screwed one of those really long screw in dog stakes in the ground so Goat could be outside while he did a little more work on the shed. A couple of hours passed by ( I was inside doing my own thing) and my son comes in the house sweating and out of breath... concerned, I asked what was wrong. Goat, it seemed, had pulled the stake out of the ground and had gone AWOL into the woods across the road! My son had been chasing him down, finally locating him and leading him home. The neighbors across the road (we live on a busy road in a semi rural area) could hear a goat but couldn't see it and were looking all over for it... then they saw my son emerge from the woods with Goat on a rope walking like a dog on a leash, Goat just protesting up a storm. They could do nothing but stare for a few seconds- and then had to just laugh at the picture!
By Jennifer Sharp5 years ago in Humans
99.9%
I’m the dirtiest clean freak you’ll ever meet. Out of every part of my life that’s become mired with hypocrisy, this one is by far my favorite. There’s an old saying that your living space tells a lot about the type of person you are; I am no exception. The state of my room is a perfect reflection of who I am, the only difference between us being that I am a walking contradiction.
By Heman Duplechan5 years ago in Humans
Investigation: Where Are You? I Think I See You
Hey, I just got here. Are you inside? Oh, I think I can see you over there. Can you see me? I’m the one waving. Wait, no, not the guy over there who’s waving. That’s an annoying coincidence. Okay, do you see the red minivan? No, not the one directly to the left of you. Bad example, I guess. Yes, I can see you plain as day, I’m staring right at you. I’m wearing the Red Hot Chili Peppers shirt you got me. I guess that doesn’t help much, we’re in Seattle.
By Connor Thiessen5 years ago in Humans
Top 9 Things Every Tall Girl Can Relate To
Where my tall girls at? I'm right at 6' and have been since I was 15. Existing as a tall woman/girl is an interesting experience. I know a lot of women don't like being tall for one reason or another, but I quite enjoy it. However, we've all had similar experiences when it comes to being tall. Here are some of the most common:
By Mariah Cruise5 years ago in Humans
The Shit Tea
Story time: One day when I was 12 my father bought this dietary tea to help us lose weight. This tea is called 3 Ballerina tea. So the night he got it, he told me to make a big a cup of it (24oz) with 2 tea bags. He told me to put very little sugar and over steep it then, drink half and he will have the other half
By Nicole Grant5 years ago in Humans
The Unfortunate Death of Franklin Dell
Franklin Dell owned a knife shop. He boasted to all of his customers that he was training to become a knife thrower, and he boasted to all of his friends that he lived on the edge of everything: life, safety, sanity . . . . When he was at his knife shop, he always tossed or juggled knives to pass the time, sometimes scaring people with his seeming carelessness. When he drove home at night, he always drove as fast as he could until his scanner told him a cop was nearby, but then he would still go five over. When he went to the movies, he always snuck in his own food, and if he thought he could get away with it, he would also sneak in bottles of beer. When he listened to his music (usually death metal), he played it loud enough to feel his eardrums tingle. Everything Franklin Dell did, in fact, he did on the edge, and he never ended up with scars to show for it. His luck—even though he didn't believe in the concept—was unparalleled, so he gave himself tattoos in commemoration of his particularly dangerous accomplishments. His friends called him Freaky Frank because of them. On his left arm, he had one that commemorated his victory at a street-racing contest, one that portrayed a motorcycle stunt he successfully landed, and one that memorialized his battle with a boa constrictor. On his right arm, he had a tattoo that told of the time he tried to pick a fight with a bear, one that showed him bungee jumping, with tally marks to indicate how many times he had done so, one that honored his knife fight with a man who tried to steal his drink (it ended in a draw), and a few more that depicted various small accomplishments. Obviously, Franklin was most comfortable when he was least certain of his safety. It’s ironic—or perhaps fitting—then, that his life should be brought to an end by his one foray into mediocrity.
By Shawn Thornburg5 years ago in Humans
Communication is key
For as long as I can remember I have been a talker. Then texting came along and everything became QUICKER, SHORTER and MORE DIFFICULT. I cannot remember the last time I picked up the phone to make a call just for the sake of it, in fact tonight I had a discussion with my friend (face to face not via social media, I know, quelle horreure) about how I actively invert with sheer terror when my phone rings. I mean, who has time to make a phone call anymore? What even is a landline? That's like that grid thing on a map, right?
By Karen Stevens5 years ago in Humans
Crazy or Genius?
I am going to begin this article by confessing that I am indeed a bi-polar Gemini. I started writing an article on another topic and mid sentence, flashed and flipped the script. Now before I get into the topic, I want to clarify that Gemini’s are not two faced. Yes, we can switch it up, but for good reason. For example, just now, my voices reminded me of something causing me to flip. When I say voices most people think ah this chick is crazy. I read a quote the other day that described me perfectly. “If you see me talking to myself please do not disturb, I am in a staff meeting.” And that is exactly what it is. When I am talking to myself, I am in a staff meeting. I have made people nervous because I talk to myself publicly without always realizing it. I am talking full on facial expressions and hand movement and when they stop and look at me or say my name, I get irritated because they interrupted me. I talk to myself in the shower all the time. I need a waterproof recording device so I can remember all these genius thoughts. My shower talks are like my dreams, I do not always remember them after the fact. My ex before last caught me talking to myself in the shower and totally freaked. She brought me my breakfast and then retreated to the other side of the room with a look of horror on her face. She couldn’t appreciate the genius. People who talk to themselves really get a bad rap. We all think out loud and that is considered normal, but do it passionately and you’re crazy. I have even had people tell me "It is ok if you talk to yourself, just don’t answer yourself." Well how else am I supposed to get the answer? Not answering myself would be crazy. Then in desperation, they reply with "Well as long as you don’t argue with yourself." But I do. And sometimes I lose. Can you fathom how frustrating is? Then I am mad at myself and then I won’t talk to me for at least 33 minutes. Those 33 minutes feel like years.
By Corene Torres5 years ago in Humans
