They Don’t Wear Green in Ireland

All these things I was taught as a child that we’ve learned is a lie.

Columbus didn’t discover America. Not because there were already hundreds of thousands living here, yes… but also he was far from the first European. Norsemen settled in modern Nova Scotia (and probably New England) starting around the year 1,000.

And by the 1400’s, most educated people actually knew the Earth was round. It had been first proven by the Ancient Greeks a literal millennium before.

So it wasn’t the shape of the planet that was in question when Columbus set off, but the size. He, and many others, were working under the assumption that the Atlantic Ocean was far smaller, and there was no other landmass, thus the quicker way to India was to the West.

Also, believe it or not, for the first century of the United States, Italian was one of several ethnicities in Europe who were not considered white. They were even persecuted at times. So the foundation of Columbus Day wasn’t to celebrate when the land was found, but actually to give Italians a better reputation.

Funny how honoring one type of people came with disrespecting another. Because Columbus and all the “explorers” who came after poisoned, enslaved and mass-murdered the Natives. The ones who weren’t already dead from European diseases, that is.

So that’s why President Biden changed it to Indigenous People’s Day a few years ago. To keep the holiday, but honor the victims instead of the perpetrators of bloody colonization.

It was the same type of change that started decades ago trying to change the common saying from Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays. Whether you agree or not, Christmas can’t actually be unlinked from Christianity. It’s in the name, right? Which is fine to celebrate how you see fit. But there are other religions, or belief systems, that have a different sacred winter holiday.

That’s why Jews fought hard for recognition of Hanukkah. It doesn’t always coincide with Christmas time, since it’s based on a lunar calendar, but a lot of times it does. Unlike Christmas, it’s not their most important holiday. It just became the important holiday they were known for as it neatly fit into the mainstream of December festivities.

Being Jewish, I can tell from experience how it feels for your family not to fit in… even when by all accounts you should.

Speaking of holidays centered around a type of people, we once again had Saint Patrick’s Day. So in America it’s all about green. We naturally associate Ireland with green for many reasons. It’s the Emerald Isle after all. But they don’t wear green for the holiday.

At least traditionally they didn’t. Orange was the real color, which is also on the flag. Nowadays, their parades look very similar to ours… but they don’t just wear green. Orange and golden yellow are also honored.

So I still count this as a cultural miss, like the others in this piece. We might be multicultural, but so many of the things representing other cultures are off.

Real Mexican food doesn’t use refried beans and orange cheddar. And it’s corn tortillas most often, not wheat. Plus the crunchy “taco” shell we know so well wasn’t common.

Real Chinese food is not fried. At least most of it. And they don’t use cheese (so Crab Rangoon is our own creation) or as much sugar.

Italian pizza also never used orange cheese or had many toppings. In fact the traditional margherita pizza is just the white cheddar, tomato sauce, and one basil leaf for each piece. This was to represent the red, white, and green of the nation’s flag.

We Americans and Canadians think we manage the world, but we also clearly don’t know enough about it.