You Bring Me To My Knees

My life is an empty page.I’m trying to keep my head above the water. Waiting for the tide to strike. I feel as though am half alive. I’m living on the other side going through motions with no purpose. I am faded from a choice of bad habits such as impulsive behavior of overspending and gambling. I feel numb. And I don’t know if I can survive. I am a compulsive addict in this twisted game of chance that rules my life. I wasted so much time and didn’t understand my stupid ways. Breaking until the end of my days. All the mistakes that it takes.

Now, I see what I craved immediate gratification without consequences.I was born dedicated to change the way Irealized. But I was only blind to see how much I need faith. I had turned away and was lost without a trace. And I am trying to believe that I was saved. It’s hard to see the sun when you feel like you are away from home. I want to be in the arms of Jesus Christ.

My life had been so replaced by loneliness. In this empty room, I feel your ghosts embrace. Fading echoes linger, lost in this hollow space. I hear the voices calling. Trying to find a way to escape. I want to find a way out of this maze and no longer be in a haze filled with self doubt. Memories of love whisper softly, then fade out. Shadows of you still linger. If you only knew, how much I miss you. And I might as well be talking to the wall. Haunted by the words I never got to say. It’s hard to know what’s real when you are all alone. Living in a world without you half alive. Trying to go on without you. I know you had to go when you went away. You left so many memories. Heartbreak’s a price I pay, lost in yesterday. Searching for a light, but I’m lost in the fray. How many times must I pray. Emptiness wraps around me, drowning in dismay. Every smile feels like a mask I wear today.