Making Friends in Middle Age

Most people start off making friends once they get into school. For some people, the groups are big, while others have smaller groups. However, eventually school ends, and life begins. Though this is an exciting new chapter in a person's life, there is a lot that comes with it. People start to go on their own paths, and they have different experiences. This makes it harder to identify with some people that they were once close with, and it can make one feel more alone than they intended for it to.

So, that brings me to the topic of making friends in middle age and why it is so difficult. During this time, a lot of people have already gotten married or had kids or found that dream career, and depending on the path that a person took, it can be challenging to find someone that can sympathize with the moments in his or her current life in a way that feels relatable. With so many factors in play, whether it be one's relationship status or current interests or social economic hurdles, etc. people may find that though a potential friend identifies with him or her in one way, he or she might be the complete opposite of him or her in another way. For example, a person with kids and no spouse might meet someone who is single and has no kids. The other person might not understand why the first person has to be committed to his or her kids. Another example could be a person without kids who is married that meets a single friend that has no attachments. The night life could look a little different as could the routine.

Some things can be dealt with compromise, but the important things might be what make it difficult to find true friendship. If a friend doesn't share the same morals and values as you do or only wants you for what you can give him or her whether it be money or status, then it can be hard to solidify a natural bond with him or her. I feel like this is more of a barrier when the other person is pushy and doesn't accept you for who you are or when the other person's morals are so different that he or she doesn't feel close to you because you see things on two very different spectrums. This could be religious beliefs and traditions being poles apart or cultural norms being inconsistent. 

I think that once we make it to a certain age, we know somewhat what we want out of life and what we believe. I feel like we aren't as open letting people in our lives that don't regard our deep feelings regarding our values and beliefs as important. We are tired of being pressured into being something that we are not, and for that matter, we have fewer friends and more acquaintances. It is hard to find a friend in middle age, because true friendship is build on loyalty, care, and understanding. Therefore, we occupy ourselves with acquaintances, people with various beliefs that are different than ours that we respect but don't feel immensely close with. 

Life at this point in time can change a lot. We lose a lot of people that we looked up to, and we feel more isolated. Wouldn't it be great if there was a way to connect with others on a more authentic level without having to compromise who we are? I'm sure there is, but sometimes, it feels like a unicorn or a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. All we can do is just keep pushing forward, because like everything else that we have endured to this point, people come into our lives for reason beyond our understanding and usually not on our timelines.

What are your thoughts or experiences? How do you view this topic?