Money Saving Ideas For New Parents

People often talk about how expensive babies are.

It's true, but maybe not for the reason lots of people think.

Babies are expensive because they need you to take time off work. If you are growing your family, you may need a larger house, or a different car. Children are dependent on you for ages. They need education and stimulation on top of feeding and clothing. If you're a woman, they cost you a hit to your career. If you live in a country without universal health-care, they also need medical treatment.

Everyone thinks babies need a crib, bouncer, swing, nappies, wipes, bottles, dummies, toys, blankets... They think the baby needs a gorgeously nursery painted in pink or blue with beautiful furniture, including a changing station and a nursing chair... but are these really what babies need? Or are they what we need, as parents, because they affirm the stories we want to tell ourselves?

It's a tough gig. We may be nervous about it, worried that we won't do a good job, or that others will judge us. We want to remind ourselves:

I love my baby. I can be a parent. I can be a good parent. I've got this.

These things may all be true (the first one almost certainly is!) but they're all unaffected by whether or not the kid has their own room, or how nicely it's turned out. You can be a loving parent, and do the gig on a shoe string.

We live in a consumerist world, and this becomes magnified when we have babies. I swear, people see that bump and they hear ker-chingggg! They see us coming with great big $£$£$ signs in their eyes. If you're growing your family, you're ripe to be sold stuff.

The Nursery

It's recommended your newborn sleep in your room for the first six months. Many stay longer. I promise you, your baby doesn't care about matching furniture or having their own room. The sweet little crib on a rocking stand? They'd rather be rocked in your arms. Postpone the cost, and strip it right back.

The Cot

The number of parents I know who use the cot as an extra laundry basket because the baby never sleeps in it anyway is mad.

Adult beds are often not safe places for babies to sleep, but then again, the cot often isn't either. (SIDS used to be called "cot death", but this turned out to be poor marketing.) Families frequently ignore safety advice when it comes to putting their baby down to sleep in a cot, and then balk at the idea of letting the baby share their bed because "it's too dangerous". Humans are a funny bunch.

It can be a decent purchase for some families. Second hand is a good idea! Make sure the mattress is decent. The important this is, wherever your baby sleeps, just make sure it's safe. The adult bed may be the cheaper option, but it's not feasible for everyone. Safety is more important than cost.

Saving: £50-£200+

Changing station

Meh. A mat is cheaper and takes up less space. Often, babies can be changed on your lap. I had a mini foldable one I used at night to save my bedsheets from sprinkles. The less getting up and moving around I had to do in the middle of the night, the better.

Saving: £100-300+

Nappy genie

Chuck it in the wheelie bin and save yourself £35-£70

Bottle warmer

As long as the milk isn't too hot, the temperature doesn't matter that much.

Saving £23-£50

Wipe warmer

Absolute waste of money! Newborn babies really don't like the feel of cold wipes, but cotton wool and warm water both exist.

Saving: £20-30

Saving water

Many parents use a baby bath, or even bathing baby in the kitchen sink as soon as they can sit up.

An alternative way to save money is to not buy a baby bath, which is another expense. Take the baby with you when you have a bath. Sure, you might not be able to have it as hot and bubbly as you like, but it's still a lovely way to spend time with your baby.

Another idea: bathe the baby less often. Babies don't need as much washing as some people think. It is perfectly possible to keep them clean using a bowl of warm water and some cotton wool. "Top and tail bowls" have fallen out of fashion, but the concept is solid. Babies don't need, as the youngins today might say, "a whole-ass bath" full of hot water to stay clean, let alone every darn day.

Now, don't get me wrong, I liked giving my babies as a bath as part of a gentle bedtime routine, but that's the thing: I liked doing it. It was for me, more than for them. I told myself a story: good parents make sure their kids have a bath every day, and I chose the action that suited the story. If I'm honest, I could have skipped that.

Saving: baby baths are around £15-£20, and you can save as much again by not buying a bath seat (these are not recommended for safety reasons).

Clothes

You can kit your baby out in some terrific clothes second hand! This is excellent advice. Also, be friends with parents who already have babies. Often, they will have bags full of baby clothes they're willing to give away for free.

And again (a theme may emerge here): buy fewer clothes.

Babies don't need as many threads as we think. Heck, my sister gave me a dozen newborn onesies and it was probably nearly enough. I used them as pyjamas and dressed my (one week old) baby in jeans and sweaters every day. Why? Why did I do that? A romper suit is perfect for a baby. They don't need scaled down adult clothes. Look at what our great grandparents "dressed" babies in; it was usually basically a sack. For babies not mobile yet, it doesn't need to be more sophisticated.

My newborn son had a better wardrobe (and bigger pockets) than I did. When are we going to admit, collectively, that this is bonkers? Half the time these cute shirts get baby sick on them in five minutes anyway. Or covered in delightful mustard-coloured stains. And they get outgrown so quickly, it's depressing.

But it's the story we tell ourselves, again, isn't it?

What would a good parent do?

Depending on the weather and what you're doing, babies often don't even need to get dressed.

We wax lyrical, as a society, about how wonderful skin to skin is for babies, but then reject the concept wholesale and send mountains of barely-worn baby clothes to landfill. This is insane.

Strip that newborn down to his nappy, whip your shirt off, and marinade in that new baby smell.

Bonus: enjoy less laundry.

Extra bonus: This also deters unexpected and unwanted guests.

Saving: Impossible to gauge, but potentially huge!

Toys

Hot take: babies don't need toys. Most of them are garish plastic tat anyway, that will spend most of their existence in landfill and only a tiny portion of it in anyone's home. An even smaller portion in a baby's hands.

Do you have a baby? If so, you probably have an example of such tat close by. (I know I drowned in the stuff for a few years.) Pick it up. Choose a random "real" object - your phone, your glasses case, the TV remote, a clean spoon, a hairbrush. Anything will do, as long as it's not dangerous.

Offer both to your baby and see which one they go for.

Feel free to repeat the experiment several times.

Most babies go fo rthe real shit most of the time.

I was wise to this by the time my second was born. I used to put her on a blanket with some random objects around her for her to explore. A pine cone, a whisk, a washed empty ketchup bottle. Sadly, we couldn't completely escape the deluge of plastic nonsense. The world is convinced that babies need this stuff. I've never understood it. I find that aspect of parenting totally depressing.

My best tip is to have a small selection of age appropriate toys that you bring out for things like car journeys or restaurants. The novelty factor will help you out massively at those times.

Saving: Another one that is hard to gauge, but monumental, and goes beyond mere money. How much do you value your sanity?

Nappies

A huge expense. It's hundreds of pounds in the first year, and many children are remaining in nappies longer, with lots still starting school using them. Keep in mind, I'm not talking about additional needs here, which is a different matter entirely. There is a general trend towards toilet training later. This is another thing that has always baffled me, because I had mine out of nappies as early as I could possibly manage it. If I'd been a bit more switched on, I'd have done it even earlier. Nappies are objectively not very nice for anyone involved.

I was once told that if King Henry VIII had worn disposable nappies, they would still be rotting in landfill today. That stuck with me. I wince when I think of all the plastic parcels of shit I've had interred in this beautiful planet. If I had my time over, I'd have invested in re-useables, and let the babies go nappy-free much more often. Listen, shit gets covered in shit anyway. That's parenting. It's not very Insta-worthy, but that's the reality.

Imagine: some people hardly rely on using nappies at all. Babies are born with a natural clean instinct and would rather not soil themselves. Like a lot of baby animals, they will usually "go" shortly after waking or feeding. Some people use this knowledge rather than nappies, to deal with the seemingly never-ending stream of bodily fluids that babies produce. Hold the baby over a suitable receptacle when they are likely to need to go, and then flush it away. It might seem crazy to you, but you have to admit, it's cheaper. Is it really any crazier than training them to piss themselves, and then, a few years later, training them not to?

Saving: Up to ~£500 in the first year

Wipes

On a related topic, there are few things more convenient than baby wipes... but you do pay for convenience. Good old fashioned warm water is cheaper, and just pop the used washcloth in the wash at the end of the day.

Saving: Up to £40 in the first year

Brands

Going off brand is usually cheaper, and there's often little difference in quality. I personally avoid Nestle like the plague for a number of reasons (a post for another day, maybe).

Feeding

Some people will tell you to "breastfeed, it's free!" but this is only true is you think a mother's time is worthless.

Sure, if you are planning to be at home with your baby anyway, then this can represent a saving. A tin of powdered formula can easily cost upward of £10. Even shop's own brands are close to this price. Many babies go through that in a single week! Families can easily spend £500 a year on the stuff.

But this one is tricky, because the choices people make about how they feed their babies are often deeply personal - much deeper than mere cost. ~80% of mothers start off breastfeeding. They already want to do it. They don't need to be told there's a saving. They often stop before they want to because they aren't supported properly. The other 20% already have their reasons to go straight to bottles, and saving £12 a week probably isn't going to sway them.

Realistically, there is rarely much difference between infant formulas. Unless there is a medical or dietary reason to stick with a specific one, it usually won't affect your baby to switch. In some cases it's exactly the same product, just with different packaging and marketed at a different demographic.

Breastfeeding Crap

Oh, breastfeeding is "free" is it? Is that why people try to convince us to buy so much twattery? Gotta make money off us somehow!

Pumps, pillows, creams, bottles, specialised teats and dummies, a steriliser, storage bags, breast pads, a nursing chair... Oh, and let's not forget that tub of formula just in case.

Good grief.

The Pump

Most of you don't need a pump. Sorry, not sorry. This will depend on your circumstances, and if you judge you do need one, by all means invest in a good one. But the rest of you: focus on feeding your baby, not the freezer. Hand expression is relatively simple to master, requires no special equipment, and incurs no extra cost.

Bottles

Babies do not need to be bottle-fed. We live in such a bottle-saturated culture that this feels hard to believe. Babies can be fed by cup, finger, spoon, syringe, or supplemental nursing system. If your baby is breastfed, save yourself the expense and hassle, and don't bother with bottles. This mimicking the breast thing is largely a gimmick. Be real: no bottle is like the breast. Positioning, flow, and technique will matter more in most cases.

Dummies

They're not good for dental health and oral development, so if you prefer not to use them, or if your baby just rejects them, that's fine. If you want to use them, if they work for you, great. Let's admit it is an additional expense that can be skipped.

The Steriliser

If you aren't using bottles or giving your baby a dummy, or storing breastmilk... do you really need a steriliser? Probably not. It is possible to sterilise things without one.

The Pillow

You may also be astonished to learn that a regular pillow is pretty much as good a Nursing Pillow. If you have a body pillow to help you be comfortable during pregnancy, these are often excellent to use in the early days with a newborn, as well.

The Nursing Chair

Any comfortable chair is fine, and you probably already have some strong contenders in your home. (Although I admit some of those "nursing chairs" are extremely comfy.)

Baby Food

Do not get me started on the stuff sold for babies once they're having more than just milk! Almost all of that can get in the bin. It's too expensive. It's usually full of sugar and salt, not to mention additives and preservatives. Plus, have you ever tasted it? It's fucking vile.

For most babies, keep them on milk for six months and then move on to safe and healthy finger foods. It's cheaper and way less hassle.

Baby Containers

Bumbos, jumperoos, exersaucers, bouncers, swings, high chairs... We have developed a billion and one ways to put babies down, when, from an evolutionary and neurolgical perspective, what they need most is to be held.

We are still cursed with this idea that babies will be "spoilt" if you hold them too much. It clings on like a particularly nasty shit-stain on your favourite cream-coloured onesie.

Thanks to this multitude of devices, babies end up with hip problems and flat head syndrome. Save your money and cut right back on these. They take up loads of space, as well, and some of them are really hard to keep clean.

Lotions & Potions

Chances are, you don't need as many as you think, you don't need to use them as often as you think, and you need to use them more sparingly than you think.

If you, like me, are in the UK, you might have also had the famous Bounty bag - all those free samples you get when you are pregnant. I still had enough left from those to use them for my second baby as well. These were all free samples, so mostly very small packets.

Nappy cream is one that people over-use. You only need a tiny bit (nope, even less than that!) because otherwise it stops the nappy working the way it's supposed to.

If you're breastfeeding, that is a sleeping pill and a painkiller for your baby as well as complete nutrition for them.

A lot of over the counter medicines you can get for babies strike me as snake oil. Parents hate to see their child in pain or struggling to sleep. Of course! That's understandable. It makes them feel better to buy and use a product to alleviate the problem even if the product has little effect.

Gripe water, I'm looking at you. Infacol, you as well.

In many cases, there are other, better remedies available than you can buy in a bottle or a tub. I'm not talking about a witch's garden of herbs, either.

For example, if your baby has wind, a change of position during and after feeds is likely to be more effective than a dose of anything.

If your nipples are sore, definitely improve position and attachment. Don't just slather on cream and hope for the best! Your own milk and fresh air are excellent remedies for this ailment (which should be mild and temporary - any worse than that warrants extra support to resolve).

Parties

Gender reveals, baby showers, cake smash shoots, and birthday parties - of course they're lovely, but they're also costly.

One excellent way to cut back on spending (and this works for a lot of baby related costs) is to ask this question: is this for the baby, or for Instagram?

OK, so what do I actually need?

You need a safe way to transport your baby. Invest in a new, good quality car seat, with a view to staying rear facing as long as possible.

I recommend a pram and a good wrap or carrier. There are times your baby wants to be held and you have other things to do; a wrap allows you to be hands-free. There are times when you'll have other things to carry than the baby, and a pram will be more useful.

You need somewhere safe for your baby to sleep. This might be a cot, with a decent mattress and safe bedding. No bumper, no pillow, no duvet, and no soft toys. Or you might ensure your own bed is safe for your baby. Do not (I REPEAT DO NOT) sit on the sofa (or that nursing chair) and try to stay awake with your baby in your arms. This is how many, if not most, tragedies happen.

I think a cot is a good idea, personally, but not if it's just going to be piled full of laundry! I think it's useful to have a separate sleep space for your baby, for times when you've had alcohol or medication, or you just feel touched out and need space. If you feel overwhelmed or frustrated, you need to be able to put your baby down somewhere where you are certain they are safe, and walk away for a few minutes. A cot is great for this.

You need a strategy for dealing with the shit. For me that was disposable nappies, but it's not the only option, and I wish we were all more open minded about this. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, by the way. I know several parents who used reuseables at home, and disposables when they went out. Baby went nappy free in the day, and wore a nappy at night. That's still a significant saving, especially if reuseables are used for subsequent babies.

You need a reasonable stash of rompers and baby vests (bodysuits), plus whatever clothing/outerwear is suitable for your climate.

That's pretty much it, unless you are not breastfeeding - then you will need formula and a lot of feeding and sterilising paraphernalia. I also recommend a cooling flask as well. I think they're amazing. It means each feed can be made fresh, which is what's recommended, but you don't have to make the hungry baby wait longer while the feed cools. It's so fast it's amazing. I still tested it on my wrist, because I was so sure it couldn't possibly have gone from scalding to safe in such a short time.

What was the baby product you ended up not using?

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Thank you for reading!

This was inspired by another post on Vocal, but now I can't find it. I think it's been removed, otherwise I'd have linked to it.