I Let A Traitor Live.

As I was led into the full glare of those seated in the court, I saw my mum sniffling between sobs.

Her swollen eyes were almost popping out of their sockets, she looked like someone who hadn’t seen sleep in days.

Sympathy slowly budded in my heart and I looked away in a rush.

How could I feel for one who, despite the heavy price I paid for her liberty, preferred a beast over me?

My mind was made up.

She didn’t matter to me anymore.

Twenty miserable years in the custody of a monstrous father or two monsters, as it now appeared, was enough to break anyone.

And giving your life for the people you love, only to have them drive a knife into your back, is a betrayal that cuts deeper than words. I experienced both.

The way he hit her every day haunted me for years.

His vigorous kicks, the way she crumpled to the floor each time, it still sends a cold shiver down my spine.

It was no surprise she had just one other child. So many pregnancies lost to those brutal boots.

Her midnight sobs from the sofa, each time he drove her out of their room in the dead of night, were unbearable.

Slowly, quietly, they pushed me to the edge. I knew I had to do something. I could not take it anymore.

On a cold night, I watched him doze off, slouched on the sofa, the nine o’clock news flickering across his face.

I had to strike.

I knew it was time.

So, I slid into the room and drove the blade of the long knife, the one the roadside knife sharpener had spent the better part of the afternoon sharpening, just as I’d instructed — directly into his heart.

Blood splattered in every direction.

She walked in shortly. Pausing like she’d seen a ghost.

Then the unexpected followed.

She screamed at the top of her voice, jerking him as she threw herself beside him on the floor, as though she’d have taken his place.

I stood there watching, completely disgusted.

It was unbelievable.

I thought she would be relieved. I thought we would finally breathe.

I thought we’d quietly arrange for the body to be taken away and never speak of it again.

But none of that happened. I had been wrong all along she had chosen her cage. Her screams brought people flooding in.

I was taken away.

She ruined everything.

The judge’s voice cut through my thoughts like a blade.

“He is hereby sentenced to life imprisonment with hard labour.”

I didn’t shed a tear.

I had expected it.

As I sat chained in that Black Maria, my most trusted warder pressed the substance into my palm, just as we had planned.

That dreaded drug.

The kind capable of dismantling even the strongest of bodies from the inside.

As I wait for it to take hold in this wretched cell, I carry only one regret.

I let a traitor live.

D O R C A S A N D R E W